“I've got you this time,” I said mockingly. “You'll never escape.” The creature trembled, and tried again to climb the tree it was pressed against. I decided the moment had come to pounce, and in a flash, it was over. I had finally captured my prize. Who dare oppose th... “Timmy! Timmy!” “Yes, mom,” I screamed back. “Stop doing that to your sister. I'm not gonna tell you again.” “Sorry mom.” Globular starclusters, foiled again! Someday, someday, I tell you. “Now that I think about it, didn't I tell you to take out the trash?” “Ah, but... mom.” “Timothy.” “But...” “No buts, I'm tired of your buts.” My sister giggled softly from her perch on the slide. “OK, OK, I'll do it in a second.” “Now, Timmy!” “Yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'm going.” “News Flash! News Flash! It appears that Super Trash man is on the move. He has come to rid us of the abominable filth.” “Vrooom, vrooom.” “This is Trash Alpha to base. Copy.” “This is base, over.” “I'm reading a high-density asteroid field up ahead. Confirm.” “Yes, sir, it's a tough one.” “Hmm. Request permission to activate Duper Shields.” “Do you really believe that necessary, Captain Rubbage?” “I'm not gonna endanger my crew. If we have it, let's use it.” “Council grants permission. Godspeed.” “This is Trash Alpha, out.” Unexpected magnetic fields created interference with the onboard controls. The Captain took control of the ship. “Computer, please give me manual controls. We're gonna ram these suckers out of our way.” “Bam.... Bam.... BamBam.” “Tiiiiiimyyy!” “What are you doing!? We just had those bushes put in yesterday!” “Go to the garage, Timmy, now!” “Get the broom and a pail. Clean this up before your Dad gets home. And finish taking out the trash cans. No games.” Mother always made everything totally boring. “Professor, are you sure that this cave is totally safe?” “Absolutely, Gary. When have you known me to be wrong?” “Never, sir. Well, hmm, if we are to get the Golden Broom of Gar before those savages, we best be on our way.” “Keep your wits about you, Gary. You never know what to expect.


I wrote that sometime during sophomore year of high school. After this story, Timmy was somebody that kept popping up all over the place in stories, though he's never as fun to write as when he's six. Rereading this one, I have a new idea for Timmy, so I'll tack that one onto my list.