My aunt died today. Maybe I should be crying, but instead there is just the same dull sadness I’ve felt since I learned how badly she doing. I cried then, feeling hopeless and tired. Now I can only remember how much she meant to me: her courage, her intelligence, and her hope. I will miss her immensely.I started writing her a letter, but it sits unfinished in a notebook. Regret is not kind.For my cousins I am scared and worried. They are going to have to grow up fast now, something I do not wish on anybody.I do not know why I post this except that writing has always been my catharsis.