Being uniquely qualified I present the following easy-to-follow rules that will guarantee your continued dissatisfaction and lack of success.1. Never finish what you begin (or even better, don't start anything at all).2. Continually sacrifice your health and happiness for a paycheck. Someday when you're sixty-five and can't get a hard-on you'll have lots of money to spend on bingo and a premium grave site.3. Spend at least an hour a day visualizing the huge success you'll be when you finally pursue your dreams. Bonus points if you can actually hear the applause in your head.4. Recursively trade in your goals and ambitions for slightly less satisfactory ones. Attempt to eliminate them altogether.5. Allow routine and tedium to rule your life. Wake up, Eat, Work, Eat, Sleep, Wake up, Eat, Work...Begin by adopting these rules one at a time. By design, each sucessive rule will naturally follow. Good luck!